So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

If you haven’t noticed, it’s been almost two months since I posted here.  In fact, you may have started to wonder if I’ve stopped posting altogether.

The sad answer is:  Yes.  This will be my last post as the Grammaniac.

The happy answer is:  I’m not dismissing my alter ego without good reason.  I have turned in my Grammar Police badge so that I can focus more on what makes me happiest in life, which is my creative writing.  Although I’m sure you’ll miss my snarky grammar rants and my hilarious photos, I hope you will check out my writing blog and continue to follow me.  If you’re on Twitter, you can also find me under the handle @hopelynnmccain.  I promise you will see plenty of funny grammar tweets!

I appreciate all of the support and the “friends” I made through my blog, and I hope that each and every one of you continue to fight to keep proper grammar alive!  I sure will!

P.S.  You didn’t think I’d leave without posting one last photo, did you?  Here is a horrible, horrible sign my husband saw at work:

YIKES

LONG LIVE GRAMMAR SNOBS!

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Grammar Snob Quickie Quiz #3

Are you ready to kick off the work week with the third Grammar Snob Quickie Quiz?  For those of you who were a bit thrown off by last week’s question, I promise today’s quiz is a little more grammatically traditional.  

Here are the results of last week’s quiz:

GSQQ2

The correct answer is “None of the above.”  For a detailed explanation, please see the string of comments on the post.  If you want the shortened version:  octopuses, octopi, and octopods are all accepted by scientists as terms for more than one octopus.  You will not find a scientist who accepts meese to mean more than one moose or bi to describe more than one bus, but you will find scientists that accept multiple terms for more than one octopus.

Now let’s get back to basics.  Here’s this week’s question:

Stop the music!

There is an Mp3 website called Iomoio.  I have no idea what it means.  Then again, the name of the website isn’t the only thing that confuses me.  Below is a snippet of the website’s banner:

iomoio

The content creators might benefit from a good, old-fashioned English 101 course.

I wonder how many tracks they’d give me for free if I were to fix their grammar?

Grammar Snob Quickie Quiz #2

Happy Monday!  Happy second day of adjusting to the stupid time change!

Can you sense the sarcasm in this morning’s post?  Sorry, it’s hard for me to conceal my disgust for a day that begins with a trip to the dentist.  😦

I was pleased to see that many of you enjoyed my first Grammar Snob Quickie Quiz last week.  For the curious minds out there, here are the overall results:

GSQQ1

I’m giving a virtual pat on the back to the 63% who passed the quiz.  The rest of you have a chance at redemption; take this week’s Grammar Snob Quickie Quiz!

Grammar Snob Quickie Quiz

I love to try new things, which is why today marks the start of a weekly feature I have dubbed the “Grammar Snob Quickie Quiz.”  Each Monday, I will post a single multiple-choice question that only a true grammar snob will be able to answer correctly.

“But why?” you might ask.  (Did you?)

Although bashing poor grammar is my specialty, I’m a true believer in the saying “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.”  I can criticize poor grammar until the world ends, but I’d also prefer to do my part to help improve the quality of Average Joe’s grammar.  Otherwise, what am I accomplishing?

So, below is the FIRST EVER Grammar Snob Quickie Quiz question.  Good luck!

So you want to be an English Star?

I have been struggling to compile a list of super awesome online games to help children who are struggling with grammar.  During my research, I discovered a game called “So You Want to be an English Star?”  The first (logical) thing to do was to click on the button labeled “How to Play.”  And this is what I got:

englishstar

A true English Star would know that there are three levels.  The game developer is more like an English Nebula.

(Please excuse my nerdy cleverness.)

The game’s questions are also a bit…well, questionable.  Going into more detail would mean I’d rip the game to shreds and use excessive amounts of profanity, so if I’ve piqued your curiosity, feel free to see for yourself how awful this game is.

I’m also sad to report that my search for grammar games wasn’t very successful.  Apparently there isn’t much demand for associating grammar with fun.  Meanwhile, somewhere in America, a teenage girl is giggling over her use of the word “redonk.”  Welcome to the deterioration of society!

Thankfully, my hunt was not 100% disastrous.  I did find a game called “Trapped” that combines punctuation practice, a variety of games, and a nice little animated story.  My future children will thank me later.

Stupidity: there’s an app for that

I’d like to express my deepest sympathies to anyone currently suffering from a stomach bug.  It’s day #4 for me and I’m ready to start trading the less favorable parts of my soul for a few nausea-free minutes.

As I was pouting in front of the television this morning, I decided to see what grammar apps were available for my phone.

Disclaimer:  Please leave now if, after reading that last sentence, you did any of the following:  a) rolled your eyes, b) called me a nerd, or c) judged me for pouting in front of the television.

The first app in the search results was called “Practice English Grammar – 1.”  I expanded the description of the app and I was horrified at what I saw:

nown

ARE YOU [BLEEP]ING KIDDING ME?

Nowns are covered in this app?  Nowns?  And what the hell does “Question with question words” mean?

So, here is the complete list of topics covered:

nown2

Did you notice that “spelling” is not a topic covered?  Good thing–I’d hate for the makers of this app to look like complete morons.

Stop!

A few days ago, this ad appeared on a website I was visiting:

unstopable

Since “unstoppable” is misspelled, my first reaction was to save the image so I could rant about it here.  But upon further research, I discovered that the misspelling wasn’t limited to the ad above.

unstopable

Of course, I had to get to the bottom of this–what true grammar snob could sleep at night without figuring out what went wrong?  According to an About.com product review, Downy claims that the product is so powerful it doesn’t need the second “p” in the word “unstoppable.”

Huh?

I hope this marketing ploy has worked for them, because they certainly aren’t getting my business.  Using this product would make me feel like a traitor.  What are your thoughts on misspelling as a form of marketing?

Flexibility

Rust-Oleum’s leak seal product might be flexible, but the dictionary is not!

flexable

Just in case the photo above didn’t elicit a good chuckle, here is a photo I took at work earlier this week:

mackelmore