A wild disagreement

Almost all of the posts on this blog are of misspellings and typos, but that doesn’t mean I don’t ever find more complex grammatical errors.  Exhibit A:  the sticker on the back of a bottle of Wet N Wild eye makeup remover:

The instructions for application indicate you should wipe a moistened cotton ball over your eyelids until “all traces of eye make-up has been removed.”  Ahem.  This statement appears to be absent of subject-verb agreement…

Since all traces of eye make-up is a plural subject, the sentence should read, “Moisten cotton ball and sweep over closed eyelids until all traces of eye make-up have been removed.”  This is basic grammar we’re supposed to learn in elementary school!

There’s a lesson in this post, kids:  if you don’t pay attention in school, the grammar police WILL find you and make fun of you.

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You can fix cars, but can you fix your sign?

I hope the mechanics at Garry’s Automotive are more careful with their customers’ cars than they are with their spelling.

Grammar rant: you’re doing it wrong

Like any true grammar snob, I enjoy reading grammar rants.  I find comfort in the fact that I am not the only person whose blood pressure rises when an adult writes with the grammatical competence of a five-year-old child.  I particularly enjoy grammar rants that are well-written and a bit snarky, like this one that was written by Carolyn Plath.

Unfortunately, decent grammar rants are few and far between.  To support this claim, I’ve compiled statements from several online grammar rants.  What you’re about to read is a mixture of real statements made in real grammar rants I’ve read on the Internet.  You’ll want to look closely–there is at least one blatant grammatical error in every sentence!  Please brace yourself for the world’s most contradictory grammar rant:

Is this how bad the English language has been mauled?  It makes me tear my my hair out.  Is it too much to as for you to use proper punctuation?  Use comma’s where it makes sense.  One period is sufficient, and if your going for ellipsis points they are three periods.  At first, someone smudged the apostrophes off not any longer.  hey have given up. 

This is minor, but it happens enought that it’s starting to drive me crazy.  “There” is can be used in many different ways to relay a position, a state, condition, etc.  “Their” is a pronoun that is reflects ownership by more than one person.  I even emailed the station and asked them where there editors were.  How many teenager are going to hear that and consider it acceptable grammar?

<speechless>

I stress–quite often–that I don’t critique the grammar of the average Joe posting on the Internet.  But if you’re ballsy enough to rant about improper grammar, you should be smart enough to proofread your own damned writing before you share it with the world.  Agreed?

The original grammar rants can all be found here:

http://www.runnersworld.com/community/forums/runner-communities/high-school/rant-poor-grammar-spelling-general-english-skills
http://www.footbag.org/forum/viewtopic.php?start=0&t=474
http://arstechnica.com/civis/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=962355
http://www.planetminecraft.com/forums/grammar-rant-t137153.html
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/954190-grammar-rant.html
http://www.audizine.com/forum/showthread.php/376568-Grammar-Rant
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=319221
http://boardreader.com/thread/OT_A_Random_Grammar_Rant_5nnppX59jzj.html
http://www.cruise-addicts.com/forums/f4/grammar-rant-95718/