So you want to be an English Star?

I have been struggling to compile a list of super awesome online games to help children who are struggling with grammar.  During my research, I discovered a game called “So You Want to be an English Star?”  The first (logical) thing to do was to click on the button labeled “How to Play.”  And this is what I got:

englishstar

A true English Star would know that there are three levels.  The game developer is more like an English Nebula.

(Please excuse my nerdy cleverness.)

The game’s questions are also a bit…well, questionable.  Going into more detail would mean I’d rip the game to shreds and use excessive amounts of profanity, so if I’ve piqued your curiosity, feel free to see for yourself how awful this game is.

I’m also sad to report that my search for grammar games wasn’t very successful.  Apparently there isn’t much demand for associating grammar with fun.  Meanwhile, somewhere in America, a teenage girl is giggling over her use of the word “redonk.”  Welcome to the deterioration of society!

Thankfully, my hunt was not 100% disastrous.  I did find a game called “Trapped” that combines punctuation practice, a variety of games, and a nice little animated story.  My future children will thank me later.

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Stupidity: there’s an app for that

I’d like to express my deepest sympathies to anyone currently suffering from a stomach bug.  It’s day #4 for me and I’m ready to start trading the less favorable parts of my soul for a few nausea-free minutes.

As I was pouting in front of the television this morning, I decided to see what grammar apps were available for my phone.

Disclaimer:  Please leave now if, after reading that last sentence, you did any of the following:  a) rolled your eyes, b) called me a nerd, or c) judged me for pouting in front of the television.

The first app in the search results was called “Practice English Grammar – 1.”  I expanded the description of the app and I was horrified at what I saw:

nown

ARE YOU [BLEEP]ING KIDDING ME?

Nowns are covered in this app?  Nowns?  And what the hell does “Question with question words” mean?

So, here is the complete list of topics covered:

nown2

Did you notice that “spelling” is not a topic covered?  Good thing–I’d hate for the makers of this app to look like complete morons.