If you haven’t noticed, it’s been almost two months since I posted here. In fact, you may have started to wonder if I’ve stopped posting altogether.
The sad answer is: Yes. This will be my last post as the Grammaniac.
The happy answer is: I’m not dismissing my alter egowithout good reason. I have turned in my Grammar Police badge so that I can focus more on what makes me happiest in life, which is my creative writing. Although I’m sure you’ll miss my snarky grammar rants and my hilarious photos, I hope you will check out my writing blog and continue to follow me. If you’re on Twitter, you can also find me under the handle @hopelynnmccain. I promise you will see plenty of funny grammar tweets!
I appreciate all of the support and the “friends” I made through my blog, and I hope that each and every one of you continue to fight to keep proper grammar alive! I sure will!
P.S. You didn’t think I’d leave without posting one last photo, did you? Here is a horrible, horrible sign my husband saw at work:
Are you ready to kick off the work week with the third Grammar Snob Quickie Quiz? For those of you who were a bit thrown off by last week’s question, I promise today’s quiz is a little more grammatically traditional.
Here are the results of last week’s quiz:
The correct answer is “None of the above.” For a detailed explanation, please see the string of comments on the post. If you want the shortened version: octopuses, octopi, and octopods are all accepted by scientists as terms for more than one octopus. You will not find a scientist who accepts meese to mean more than one moose or bi to describe more than one bus, but you will find scientists that accept multiple terms for more than one octopus.
Now let’s get back to basics. Here’s this week’s question:
I love to try new things, which is why today marks the start of a weekly feature I have dubbed the “Grammar Snob Quickie Quiz.” Each Monday, I will post a single multiple-choice question that only a true grammar snob will be able to answer correctly.
“But why?” you might ask. (Did you?)
Although bashing poor grammar is my specialty, I’m a true believer in the saying “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” I can criticize poor grammar until the world ends, but I’d also prefer to do my part to help improve the quality of Average Joe’s grammar. Otherwise, what am I accomplishing?
So, below is the FIRST EVER Grammar Snob Quickie Quiz question. Good luck!
I have been struggling to compile a list of super awesome online games to help children who are struggling with grammar. During my research, I discovered a game called “So You Want to be an English Star?” The first (logical) thing to do was to click on the button labeled “How to Play.” And this is what I got:
A true English Star would know that there are three levels. The game developer is more like an English Nebula.
(Please excuse my nerdy cleverness.)
The game’s questions are also a bit…well, questionable. Going into more detail would mean I’d rip the game to shreds and use excessive amounts of profanity, so if I’ve piqued your curiosity, feel free to see for yourself how awful this game is.
I’m also sad to report that my search for grammar games wasn’t very successful. Apparently there isn’t much demand for associating grammar with fun. Meanwhile, somewhere in America, a teenage girl is giggling over her use of the word “redonk.” Welcome to the deterioration of society!
Thankfully, my hunt was not 100% disastrous. I did find a game called “Trapped” that combines punctuation practice, a variety of games, and a nice little animated story. My future children will thank me later.
I’d like to express my deepest sympathies to anyone currently suffering from a stomach bug. It’s day #4 for me and I’m ready to start trading the less favorable parts of my soul for a few nausea-free minutes.
As I was pouting in front of the television this morning, I decided to see what grammar apps were available for my phone.
Disclaimer: Please leave now if, after reading that last sentence, you did any of the following: a) rolled your eyes, b) called me a nerd, or c) judged me for pouting in front of the television.
The first app in the search results was called “Practice English Grammar – 1.” I expanded the description of the app and I was horrified at what I saw:
ARE YOU [BLEEP]ING KIDDING ME?
Nowns are covered in this app? Nowns? And what the hell does “Question with question words” mean?
So, here is the complete list of topics covered:
Did you notice that “spelling” is not a topic covered? Good thing–I’d hate for the makers of this app to look like complete morons.
Fear not, fellow grammar snobs: I have not been sucked into a black hole. The bittersweet explanation of my absence these past few weeks is simply that I have not seen any grammar errors floating about. This is good news for the fate of the English language, but bad news for a woman whose blog depends on poor language skills.
Last night as I was perusing the TV listings, I found this:
Annnnnnd we’re back!
You might be wondering, What does the Grammaniac even do when she doesn’t have any grammar to criticize? First, I finally self-published my Christmas children’s book. Believe it or not, I actually have a soft spot for children and fun, imaginative stories. I know: mind blown, right?