Go home, job posting, you’re drunk!

There are no words.

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Stupidity: there’s an app for that

I’d like to express my deepest sympathies to anyone currently suffering from a stomach bug.  It’s day #4 for me and I’m ready to start trading the less favorable parts of my soul for a few nausea-free minutes.

As I was pouting in front of the television this morning, I decided to see what grammar apps were available for my phone.

Disclaimer:  Please leave now if, after reading that last sentence, you did any of the following:  a) rolled your eyes, b) called me a nerd, or c) judged me for pouting in front of the television.

The first app in the search results was called “Practice English Grammar – 1.”  I expanded the description of the app and I was horrified at what I saw:

ARE YOU [BLEEP]ING KIDDING ME?

Nowns are covered in this app?  Nowns?  And what the hell does “Question with question words” mean?

So, here is the complete list of topics covered:

Did you notice that “spelling” is not a topic covered?  Good thing–I’d hate for the makers of this app to look like complete morons.

Stop!

A few days ago, this ad appeared on a website I was visiting:

Since “unstoppable” is misspelled, my first reaction was to save the image so I could rant about it here.  But upon further research, I discovered that the misspelling wasn’t limited to the ad above.

Of course, I had to get to the bottom of this–what true grammar snob could sleep at night without figuring out what went wrong?  According to an About.com product review, Downy claims that the product is so powerful it doesn’t need the second “p” in the word “unstoppable.”

Huh?

I hope this marketing ploy has worked for them, because they certainly aren’t getting my business.  Using this product would make me feel like a traitor.  What are your thoughts on misspelling as a form of marketing?

Not focused enough

WOW.  Can you believe 2012 is almost over?

Wow.  That was a really cliche thing to say.  Okay, scratch that.  Let’s just move on to the juicy stuff.

In a recent issue of Boise Weekly, a local alternative newspaper, I found this:

There’s a hidden danger in choosing a fancy shmancy font.  Although it’s not obvious right off the bat, the word “throughout” is missing an “r.”  It’s good to be financially sane and focused, but we shouldn’t lose focus on our grammar while we’re at it!

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I have a better recommendation

On a recent trip with my husband to the Boise Army Navy Store, I found this sign:

The illustration is funny, but being the grammar nerd that I am, I spent my laughter on the incorrect spelling of “recommend.”  Hasn’t anyone recommended that this error be corrected?

Criticisms aside, I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

…unless you’re not in the United States; in that case, I suppose I just hope you have a good day?  Yeah, let’s go with that.

An ice cold beer might ease the pain

The beer at this smoke shop might be premium, but the same can’t be said about the shop’s grammar.

You can fix cars, but can you fix your sign?

I hope the mechanics at Garry’s Automotive are more careful with their customers’ cars than they are with their spelling.

The new classic

A truly classic salad mix would likely consist of “iceberg” lettuce.

These sandwiches are missing something

I understand the English language can be confusing.  At an early age, we are taught that adding an s to the end of words makes them plural.  Sock becomes socks, caterpillar becomes caterpillars, and airplane becomes airplanes.  However, every now and then you need to pluralize a word that already ends with an s, or one that ends with an x, z, ch, or sh.  If you simply add an s to the word box, you end up with the word boxs, which, when spoken aloud, sounds like an utterance of a slurring, drunk person.  This is why–complex as it may seem–some words are pluralized with an es rather than just an s.

Someone at Sonic missed the memo.

You say briscuit, I say brisket

I met up with my mother tonight to have a drink and celebrate the new job she starts next week.  On our table was a menu of “weekend specials” and the first item listed is Smoked Briscuit.  The Smoked Briscuit is beef brisket smoked with rum-soaked oak chips.  (Okay, spelling error or not, this sounds mighty delicious.)  To make matters worse, the description of the entree contains no punctuation.  It’s a couple of commas and an n-dash short of making any sense.

Bardenay is also a distillery, so I guess their assumption is that their patrons are too drunk to care.  Strangely, my grammarscope works extra well when I’m under the influence!