Flexibility

Rust-Oleum’s leak seal product might be flexible, but the dictionary is not!

Just in case the photo above didn’t elicit a good chuckle, here is a photo I took at work earlier this week:

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Grammar gold

First things first:  Happy New Year!

Back in November, I saw this ad on Facebook and forgot all about it until I was sifting through my “Pictures” folder this morning.  (Note to self:  you have too much crap on your computer.)

The obvious mistake is in the statement below the photo.  By sharing the photo, you’re not going to “get this rings.”  You might get “this ring” or “these rings,” but “this rings” is something a stupid person would give away.

I’m also curious about the claim that one winner will be drawn on 29th.  Yeah, there’s a period after “29th,” so I can only assume that’s the end of the sentence.  And is the winner drawn–as in, sketched–or is their name drawn from a hat or a raffle drum?

I wish you all a happy 2013 and hope you all stick to your resolutions for at least a week.

Grammar rant: you’re doing it wrong

Like any true grammar snob, I enjoy reading grammar rants.  I find comfort in the fact that I am not the only person whose blood pressure rises when an adult writes with the grammatical competence of a five-year-old child.  I particularly enjoy grammar rants that are well-written and a bit snarky, like this one that was written by Carolyn Plath.

Unfortunately, decent grammar rants are few and far between.  To support this claim, I’ve compiled statements from several online grammar rants.  What you’re about to read is a mixture of real statements made in real grammar rants I’ve read on the Internet.  You’ll want to look closely–there is at least one blatant grammatical error in every sentence!  Please brace yourself for the world’s most contradictory grammar rant:

Is this how bad the English language has been mauled?  It makes me tear my my hair out.  Is it too much to as for you to use proper punctuation?  Use comma’s where it makes sense.  One period is sufficient, and if your going for ellipsis points they are three periods.  At first, someone smudged the apostrophes off not any longer.  hey have given up. 

This is minor, but it happens enought that it’s starting to drive me crazy.  “There” is can be used in many different ways to relay a position, a state, condition, etc.  “Their” is a pronoun that is reflects ownership by more than one person.  I even emailed the station and asked them where there editors were.  How many teenager are going to hear that and consider it acceptable grammar?

<speechless>

I stress–quite often–that I don’t critique the grammar of the average Joe posting on the Internet.  But if you’re ballsy enough to rant about improper grammar, you should be smart enough to proofread your own damned writing before you share it with the world.  Agreed?

The original grammar rants can all be found here:

http://www.runnersworld.com/community/forums/runner-communities/high-school/rant-poor-grammar-spelling-general-english-skills
http://www.footbag.org/forum/viewtopic.php?start=0&t=474
http://arstechnica.com/civis/viewtopic.php?f=24&t=962355
http://www.planetminecraft.com/forums/grammar-rant-t137153.html
http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parent-cafe/954190-grammar-rant.html
http://www.audizine.com/forum/showthread.php/376568-Grammar-Rant
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=319221
http://boardreader.com/thread/OT_A_Random_Grammar_Rant_5nnppX59jzj.html
http://www.cruise-addicts.com/forums/f4/grammar-rant-95718/

Served with Red Pen Dipping Sauce

Following my latest post, it is pure coincidence that I passed this KFC sign.  Is it possible that the everlasting rumors about KFC using genetically mutated chicken are true?  “Snow” cones aren’t really made of snow, and one of the world’s most popular suppliers is called SnoShack.  Notice the missing w?  Maybe “chicken” is missing a c because these bites aren’t really made of chicken.

Which begs the question, what is “chiken”?  Let’s play another round of DEFINE IT!  Leave your clever definitions in the comments section and let’s see if we can figure out just what $4.99 will get you at this KFC.

Grammar Cats 2

The second installment of “Grammar Cats” is here! Thank you to the few who submitted your own grammar cats (you know who you are). Enjoy!

One stop porn (and bad grammar) shop

I hope you all appreciate today’s post, because taking this picture required that I pull into the parking lot of a porn shop in a sleazy part of town. I doubt the patrons of the shop give any kind of hoot about spelling and grammar, so it’s up to me to make fun of the fact that “remodel” is misspelled on BOTH sides of this sign.

USPS Part 2: The postmaster isn’t an English master

Oh my. Look what I found inside the post office yesterday:

Where do I even BEGIN with this sign? Firstly, the machine to the left must be really lonely without its broken companion if the postmaster is assigning the task of pleasing it to its customers. Secondly, how is it that the postmaster noticed that “right” was incorrect, but failed to notice that the word “use” was absent?

What baffles me the most, however, is that the postmaster couldn’t take an extra ten seconds out of his or her day to simply write out a new, clean note. Nice reputation you’re making for yourself, USPS!

USPS delivers (poor grammar, that is!)

I’ve heard that securing a job with the United States Postal Service requires a passing grade on a big, long, grueling test. Having never taken the test, I don’t know what it entails. My guess would be that there is no reading and writing portion of the exam. Drum roll, please:

Ahhh, there’s the government, hard at work as usual!

Not a sweet deal

I passed a gas station yesterday that was advertising a sale on Nestle and Wonka candy. Notice something wrong with the sign? Wait, scratch that. Notice TWO things wrong with the sign?

Double fail.

To be honest, I’m not too surprised a company whose name is a misspelling of the word “maverick” would produce this double whammy.

The Biggest Loser: lose pounds, not punctuation!

This season of The Biggest Loser is the first I’ve ever watched. Unfortunately for my fiance, I became addicted after the first episode and now I’ve gone back to watch past seasons on Netflix. Not only do I hog the TV at times, but I won’t shut up about the show.

Anyway, for those of you who don’t watch it, the gym in which the contestants work out is lined with motivational posters that display various quotes from the trainers:

One poster in particular irks me to no end. Maybe it’s just the grammar snob in me, but no saying is so motivational that it can’t be squashed by a missing apostrophe:

Your grammar is broken. Will you fix that, too?

I’m sorry, but I just can’t let this one go. It’s bad enough the error happened to begin with, but it’s been this way for SEVERAL seasons. A show as “big” (pun intended) as The Biggest Loser can’t fix a simple missing apostrophe?