Like any true grammar snob, I enjoy reading grammar rants. I find comfort in the fact that I am not the only person whose blood pressure rises when an adult writes with the grammatical competence of a five-year-old child. I particularly enjoy grammar rants that are well-written and a bit snarky, like this one that was written by Carolyn Plath.
Unfortunately, decent grammar rants are few and far between. To support this claim, I’ve compiled statements from several online grammar rants. What you’re about to read is a mixture of real statements made in real grammar rants I’ve read on the Internet. You’ll want to look closely–there is at least one blatant grammatical error in every sentence! Please brace yourself for the world’s most contradictory grammar rant:
Is this how bad the English language has been mauled? It makes me tear my my hair out. Is it too much to as for you to use proper punctuation? Use comma’s where it makes sense. One period is sufficient, and if your going for ellipsis points they are three periods. At first, someone smudged the apostrophes off not any longer. hey have given up.
This is minor, but it happens enought that it’s starting to drive me crazy. “There” is can be used in many different ways to relay a position, a state, condition, etc. “Their” is a pronoun that is reflects ownership by more than one person. I even emailed the station and asked them where there editors were. How many teenager are going to hear that and consider it acceptable grammar?
I stress–quite often–that I don’t critique the grammar of the average Joe posting on the Internet. But if you’re ballsy enough to rant about improper grammar, you should be smart enough to proofread your own damned writing before you share it with the world. Agreed?
The original grammar rants can all be found here: