I’d like to express my deepest sympathies to anyone currently suffering from a stomach bug. It’s day #4 for me and I’m ready to start trading the less favorable parts of my soul for a few nausea-free minutes.
As I was pouting in front of the television this morning, I decided to see what grammar apps were available for my phone.
Disclaimer: Please leave now if, after reading that last sentence, you did any of the following: a) rolled your eyes, b) called me a nerd, or c) judged me for pouting in front of the television.
The first app in the search results was called “Practice English Grammar – 1.” I expanded the description of the app and I was horrified at what I saw:
ARE YOU [BLEEP]ING KIDDING ME?
Nowns are covered in this app? Nowns? And what the hell does “Question with question words” mean?
So, here is the complete list of topics covered:
Did you notice that “spelling” is not a topic covered? Good thing–I’d hate for the makers of this app to look like complete morons.
I found this Domino’s coupon in the newspaper last week. It contains not one, not two, but (drumroll, please) THREE errors!
Let’s break this down, shall we? Domino’s should contain an apostrophe. Pizzas must be borrowing said missing apostrophe, since it shouldn’t have one. And lastly, I don’t know what a viggie is, but it sounds like the dimwitted cousin of a veggie.
The Majestic Cinemas in Meridian, Idaho, offers movie-goers a brochure called Guide to the Movies. Although a more appropriate title would be Lots of Ads and a Few Movie Synopses, these brochures provide brief descriptions of upcoming movies.
Last week, as I awaited the start of Larry Crowne, I took a peek inside one of the brochures and found this little guy:
I prefer to avoid the use of mainstream pet names.