Fear not, fellow grammar snobs: I have not been sucked into a black hole. The bittersweet explanation of my absence these past few weeks is simply that I have not seen any grammar errors floating about. This is good news for the fate of the English language, but bad news for a woman whose blog depends on poor language skills.
Last night as I was perusing the TV listings, I found this:
Annnnnnd we’re back!
You might be wondering, What does the Grammaniac even do when she doesn’t have any grammar to criticize? First, I finally self-published my Christmas children’s book. Believe it or not, I actually have a soft spot for children and fun, imaginative stories. I know: mind blown, right?
This season of The Biggest Loser is the first I’ve ever watched. Unfortunately for my fiance, I became addicted after the first episode and now I’ve gone back to watch past seasons on Netflix. Not only do I hog the TV at times, but I won’t shut up about the show.
Anyway, for those of you who don’t watch it, the gym in which the contestants work out is lined with motivational posters that display various quotes from the trainers:
One poster in particular irks me to no end. Maybe it’s just the grammar snob in me, but no saying is so motivational that it can’t be squashed by a missing apostrophe:
Your grammar is broken. Will you fix that, too?
I’m sorry, but I just can’t let this one go. It’s bad enough the error happened to begin with, but it’s been this way for SEVERAL seasons. A show as “big” (pun intended) as The Biggest Loser can’t fix a simple missing apostrophe?
If you’ve ever watched Hoarders, you know how much effort can go into cleaning up the home of one single hoarder. It’s too bad the same amount of effort isn’t expended on editing the episodes. The following is a screen capture from Season 2, Episode 10:
Let’s go back to Grammar 101 for a second, shall we? This statement describes Tra as being affected by two separate things: 1) The pressure of the day, and 2) Unsolicited advice. Given that fact, the caption should read “The pressure of the day and all the unsolicited advice are taking a toll on Tra.”
The less critical version of my inner grammar nazi, however, focuses on the BLATANT error in the statement. The possessive form of “its” should NOT HAVE A FREAKING APOSTROPHE!
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?
Several years ago, a teacher of mine showed this to me and I was rather intrigued by it. I forgot about it until today, when I passed this sign:
All I can say is, it’s a good thing we read words as a whole! Otherwise, I may have never known that this restaurant has some badass flat screen TVs. Oh, did you catch that? I said “screen,” not “screens.” How long does it take to proofread a 9-word sentence? Seriously…