So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish

If you haven’t noticed, it’s been almost two months since I posted here.  In fact, you may have started to wonder if I’ve stopped posting altogether.

The sad answer is:  Yes.  This will be my last post as the Grammaniac.

The happy answer is:  I’m not dismissing my alter ego without good reason.  I have turned in my Grammar Police badge so that I can focus more on what makes me happiest in life, which is my creative writing.  Although I’m sure you’ll miss my snarky grammar rants and my hilarious photos, I hope you will check out my writing blog and continue to follow me.  If you’re on Twitter, you can also find me under the handle @hopelynnmccain.  I promise you will see plenty of funny grammar tweets!

I appreciate all of the support and the “friends” I made through my blog, and I hope that each and every one of you continue to fight to keep proper grammar alive!  I sure will!

P.S.  You didn’t think I’d leave without posting one last photo, did you?  Here is a horrible, horrible sign my husband saw at work:

LONG LIVE GRAMMAR SNOBS!

Grammar Snob Quickie Quiz #3

Are you ready to kick off the work week with the third Grammar Snob Quickie Quiz?  For those of you who were a bit thrown off by last week’s question, I promise today’s quiz is a little more grammatically traditional.  

Here are the results of last week’s quiz:

The correct answer is “None of the above.”  For a detailed explanation, please see the string of comments on the post.  If you want the shortened version:  octopuses, octopi, and octopods are all accepted by scientists as terms for more than one octopus.  You will not find a scientist who accepts meese to mean more than one moose or bi to describe more than one bus, but you will find scientists that accept multiple terms for more than one octopus.

Now let’s get back to basics.  Here’s this week’s question:

Grammar Snob Quickie Quiz #2

Happy Monday!  Happy second day of adjusting to the stupid time change!

Can you sense the sarcasm in this morning’s post?  Sorry, it’s hard for me to conceal my disgust for a day that begins with a trip to the dentist.  😦

I was pleased to see that many of you enjoyed my first Grammar Snob Quickie Quiz last week.  For the curious minds out there, here are the overall results:

I’m giving a virtual pat on the back to the 63% who passed the quiz.  The rest of you have a chance at redemption; take this week’s Grammar Snob Quickie Quiz!

Go home, job posting, you’re drunk!

There are no words.

So you want to be an English Star?

I have been struggling to compile a list of super awesome online games to help children who are struggling with grammar.  During my research, I discovered a game called “So You Want to be an English Star?”  The first (logical) thing to do was to click on the button labeled “How to Play.”  And this is what I got:

A true English Star would know that there are three levels.  The game developer is more like an English Nebula.

(Please excuse my nerdy cleverness.)

The game’s questions are also a bit…well, questionable.  Going into more detail would mean I’d rip the game to shreds and use excessive amounts of profanity, so if I’ve piqued your curiosity, feel free to see for yourself how awful this game is.

I’m also sad to report that my search for grammar games wasn’t very successful.  Apparently there isn’t much demand for associating grammar with fun.  Meanwhile, somewhere in America, a teenage girl is giggling over her use of the word “redonk.”  Welcome to the deterioration of society!

Thankfully, my hunt was not 100% disastrous.  I did find a game called “Trapped” that combines punctuation practice, a variety of games, and a nice little animated story.  My future children will thank me later.

Stupidity: there’s an app for that

I’d like to express my deepest sympathies to anyone currently suffering from a stomach bug.  It’s day #4 for me and I’m ready to start trading the less favorable parts of my soul for a few nausea-free minutes.

As I was pouting in front of the television this morning, I decided to see what grammar apps were available for my phone.

Disclaimer:  Please leave now if, after reading that last sentence, you did any of the following:  a) rolled your eyes, b) called me a nerd, or c) judged me for pouting in front of the television.

The first app in the search results was called “Practice English Grammar – 1.”  I expanded the description of the app and I was horrified at what I saw:

ARE YOU [BLEEP]ING KIDDING ME?

Nowns are covered in this app?  Nowns?  And what the hell does “Question with question words” mean?

So, here is the complete list of topics covered:

Did you notice that “spelling” is not a topic covered?  Good thing–I’d hate for the makers of this app to look like complete morons.

Flexibility

Rust-Oleum’s leak seal product might be flexible, but the dictionary is not!

Just in case the photo above didn’t elicit a good chuckle, here is a photo I took at work earlier this week:

Must be a new breed

I was doing some research at work on Saturday and I noticed this announcement on the Humane Society of Clark County website:

What a poser.

SMH.  (That’s “shaking my head,” right?  I can’t keep up with what the damn cool kids are saying these days.)  I feel pretty silly right now, because I’ve spent my whole life thinking that furry creature in the photo above is a dog.

Grammar gold

First things first:  Happy New Year!

Back in November, I saw this ad on Facebook and forgot all about it until I was sifting through my “Pictures” folder this morning.  (Note to self:  you have too much crap on your computer.)

The obvious mistake is in the statement below the photo.  By sharing the photo, you’re not going to “get this rings.”  You might get “this ring” or “these rings,” but “this rings” is something a stupid person would give away.

I’m also curious about the claim that one winner will be drawn on 29th.  Yeah, there’s a period after “29th,” so I can only assume that’s the end of the sentence.  And is the winner drawn–as in, sketched–or is their name drawn from a hat or a raffle drum?

I wish you all a happy 2013 and hope you all stick to your resolutions for at least a week.

Not focused enough

WOW.  Can you believe 2012 is almost over?

Wow.  That was a really cliche thing to say.  Okay, scratch that.  Let’s just move on to the juicy stuff.

In a recent issue of Boise Weekly, a local alternative newspaper, I found this:

There’s a hidden danger in choosing a fancy shmancy font.  Although it’s not obvious right off the bat, the word “throughout” is missing an “r.”  It’s good to be financially sane and focused, but we shouldn’t lose focus on our grammar while we’re at it!

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